An End

It was over.

Dalindo had left Faewyn.

It was true that the loneliness, and the pain of him not loving her, was beginning to torment her and she had thought about letting him go, but he had gone and ended the relationship first.

She had to hear it from another person’s mouth. It was of Cavinaar’s. She remembered his words.

“I saw Dalindo this morning. Figured you should know that he considers your relationship over.”

Her chest had never felt such a great pain before. Not like it had done that night. She had tried her best to sleep, but her mind kept thinking about Dalindo.

Shortly after that day, Faewyn had seen Dalindo at the crossroads. He was distant and cold. He wouldn’t even speak to her until she had yelled at him and chased him down when he simply tried to walk away from her. One of his braids had slapped against her arm. It stung almost as much as the heartbreak she felt.

In the end, he requested that she organize his belongings that he left behind to her. To give his coat to Cienwyn. To give his carpentry tools to Dencity. Everything else was left up to Faewyn to decide. She thought that it was extremely unfair to have been placed with this responsibility. He could of taken the things back. In the end though, he had given up on himself.

Dalindo gave up on life.

It took her another day to realize that she was suddenly free from any ties to him. Of any man. Faewyn couldn’t help though but long for someone to love her. She was in need of it. The loneliness was killing her.

She had been dealing with mixed emotions for another man for quite some time, even before Dalindo had broken up with her. Faewyn cared about this man, but yet while she was still with Dalindo, the man had gone and stepped over his boundaries and kissed her. Three times. She had to push him away. Faewyn had to stay devoted to Dalindo. Now, nothing could stop her any longer.

Faewyn had lead Cavinaar to the beach, the place where Ylessa’s domain rested. She was the mother of the sea and of love and Faewyn needed her to guide her heart.

It was there that Faewyn kissed Cavinaar. It was a soft brushing of her lips, but she wanted to treat the man delicately. He had been heartbroken before. By her and especially by his lost love, Elana. It did not take him long to give in to her and to start kissing her back. Faewyn knew, even before then, that she wanted to make Cavinaar happy. It was a deep desire for her. She felt in her heart that she could possibly love him. He was always so good to her. He was always there when she was in trouble, it seemed. Cavinaar was by her side numerous times. He was always so loving and so gentle with her. He was also a helpless romantic. Surely it was a good match?

But something kept tugging at her heart. It was the part of her that still held a place for Dalindo. No matter how hard she tried, even when she had given herself intimately to Cavinaar, her heart kept haunting her. She tried to hide away the thoughts, the feelings she still had.

Later on, Cavinaar had agreed to take Faewyn to the Wayside inn while he wanted to go and hunt for demons. He refused to take her along, perhaps in fear that she would get hurt. He wanted to leave her in the inn, where she would be relatively safe. They were just about to walk inside the place when Faewyn suddenly noticed something odd about the campfire nearby. There was an object glistening amongst the embers, and it burned brightly in a hot orange glow. She peered closer into the flames, her brow furrowed in concentration as she tried to determine what the object was. Suddenly, she realized what the item was that was left burning within the fire. It was an intricately worked wrought iron key. The key that she had given to Dalindo. Faewyn clasped her hands over her mouth, her eyes widening upon the discovery.

Cavinaar looked at Faewyn at that moment, a curious expression appearing on his face as he glanced at the campfire and then back at her, giving a shrug and then saying, “It’s just a campfire, Faewyn.”

Faewyn shook her head steadily and pointed at the key that burned within the flames. Her heart felt like it had busted open, bleeding inside her. The sadness and hurt flooded her emotions. She never felt so betrayed. She looked up from the flames and immediately darted her eyes around in the darkness of the night, and she begun to feel the tears form as she said, “I can’t believe it.”

“What is it?” Cavinaar asked Faewyn, his gaze following her finger as it pointed towards the fire. It didn’t seem to take him very long to spot the object, “The key?”

Her voice trembled as she spoke, her watery eyes looking down once more into the flames of the campfire, “I gave that to him. I gave it to him right after he got out of the hospital. He… I didn’t think he’d just throw it away?” Faewyn clenched down on her teeth as she then buried her face within her hands and began to sob, “I can’t believe he’d do this.”

Cavinaar gently guided her to one of the benches nearby, sitting down beside her as he said, “Remember the day I said I had seen him?” He then nodded his head towards the campfire, “I think that was when he threw it in there.” Cavinaar then gently took her hand as he added, “Not everyone ends things the same way, Faewyn.”

Faewyn continued to cry heavily, soon looking back into the flames and upon the key that burned there. She then slowly lowered her hands to her knees, grasping at the blue and white fabric of her skirt as she said in a bitter voice, “He could of given it back to me. I would of understood.” The feeling of anguish and pain then began to take over, her voice deepening as she continued to stare down at the key, “First he agrees to fight in that duel. Then he tries to kill himself.” She then started to yell, at no one in particular, “Then he goes crazy on me and decides that he doesn’t believe in love! And then he leaves his belongings with me, expecting me to deal with it! And now this!?” Faewyn’s breath quickened and her deep hazel eyes began to burn with flames that were not coming from the campfire itself.

Cavinaar just continued sitting with her, letting her have her outburst before he looked back into the fire and then back to the girl once more, speaking with a sympathetic tone of voice, “Would you like me to get it for you, Faewyn?”

She didn’t take her eyes off of the key, just staring as the item that she thought was precious to her just burn away. A strange, cruel smile then formed upon Faewyn’s lips as she said, “I could take all of his things, all of his things, and just throw them in the fire! … But he wouldn’t give a damn. He never gave a damn about me or anything. He just wants to throw away his life. He threw me away and he is just going to throw everything else away, like it never mattered to him.”

“Well, now you have someone that does give a damn,” Cavinaar said to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders as he continued to sit there on the bench with her.

Indeed, I do have you, Cav. You’re all I ever needed… Yet, why am I still thinking of Dalindo? Her fiery hazel eyes flickered in thought as she remained still, letting Cavinaar hold her as she trembled with rage that she tried very hard to suppress. Faewyn remained silent as she continued to stare at the flames for a long time. Soon, she slowly rose from the bench and just stood there for several moments before she quickly pulled off her cloak and threw it over the campfire. She then promptly began to put out the flames with a stomping of her foot, even if she could feel the intense heat through her sandals.

Cavinaar stood up and picked up the cloak and began to move Faewyn away from the fire, “Step back, dear. I’ll get it.”

She didn’t seem willing to back down, but in the end she forced herself to turn away and look off into the darkness beyond the camp.

He gently pulled Faewyn back a few steps before he lowered himself down to a kneeling position. Cavinaar stared at the intricately worked iron key for a long moment before he raised his hand and moved it swiftly, in what seemed to be a blur, into the fire and pulled out the key. He dropped it onto the ground, in order to let it cool, before he stood up and moved back to her. He turned her towards him and embraced her, “I’m sorry, dear, that things came to this with him.”

As Cavinaar held her, Faewyn lowered her head. Her eyes were still filled with tears as she just stared down at the ground and remained still, her arms resting by her sides.

Cavinaar continued to hold her for a long time, for several minutes, before he proceeded to put her cloak back on her. He then lifted up her chin within a crook of his finger as he looked her in the eye and said, “He is your past, dear, something you cannot change.”

Faewyn remained quiet as Cavinaar attempted to soothe her. Her eyes met his very briefly before she looked off past him and back into the night beyond the campsite. She then gently pulled herself away, turning to look at the key that was lying on the ground. Faewyn crouched down steadily and picked it up and stood back up as she quietly turned the key over in her delicate hands. Her fingertips lightly brushed at the blackened, charred surface of it and traced its familiar shape.

It was at this point that Cavinaar moved away from her, standing over by an apple tree that stood nearby.

Several thoughts ran through Faewyn’s head, How can Dalindo do this to me? How could he have abandoned me like this? Why does my chest still hurt? Where is Dalindo now? Why did I ever fall in love with him? Why did I stay with him for so long? What should I do with this key? It hurts to look at it. And then suddenly realized what she wanted to do with the key. She continued to stare at the object as she then said to Cavinaar, “I have to go… To the beach.”

“It won’t bring him back, Faewyn,” Cavinaar said as he looked at her with a slightly pained gaze and then turned away to stare out into the night.

“I don’t want him,” Faewyn said with a cold voice, which was more directed towards the subject. She then rummaged in one of her backpacks and pulled out an unlit torch, thinking to herself, Did I just lie?

“Please, don’t go,” Cavinaar plead to her in a calm, but firm, voice as he placed his hand upon the apple tree and looked down at the ground. He then looked back out towards the north as he said, “I know it hurts, Faewyn… Believe me, I know. But I am asking you not to go.”

Faewyn looked up at Cavinaar, for the first time in a long while that evening with tears still lingering in her eyes. She was still angry and felt extremely tense, and she couldn’t help but wonder if she could get over Dalindo. She wondered if she could ever stop thinking about him. She then asked Cavinaar in a serious tone of voice, “Would you come with me? Would you take me there?”

Cavinaar then pulled out his lantern, lighting it as he took her by the hand and began to lead her away and towards the beach. His eyes were full of love and of sympathy, and Faewyn thought that she would die if he continued to look at her in that way.

It was some time later that the pair arrived at the eastern beach. Cavinaar let go of Faewyn’s hand and moved off towards a boulder on the shore.

Faewyn glanced over in his direction for a moment, her hand grasping at the air where his hand had just been a few moments before. She then looked down to in her other hand, uncurling her fist as she gazed down at the key that she held. She tried to clear her mind as she set her eyes out towards the dark horizon and began to walk towards the waves. She stopped once the water reached just below her knees and she raised the key up to her eyes, looking it over carefully.

Her heart, all of it, had gone into obtaining this key when she had first rented that room at the boarding house. Faewyn thought that she and Dalindo could have been happy there. The bed was all they had ever needed. She took some time to remember the good things about Dalindo. How caring he was. How warm he had appeared to be. How he had tried to take care of her. The way he made love to her and how he always kissed her everytime she screamed with ecstasy. Her heart beat heavily and it was still in pain. She wondered then if she could ever love another person the way she loved Dalindo. Faewyn began to fear that, perhaps she would have a hard time doing so with Cavinaar. She wanted to try, to give him a chance. But there was something still pulling her back. Cavinaar was… Emotional, like she was when she was with Dalindo. Cavinaar sort of reminded her of herself, and that began to scare her. She wondered if her heart would ever heal. She pondered whether she could get used to the way that Cavinaar always wanted reassurance from her. Of her love, of her devotion. It was understandable, he had been hurt before and she knew, and was deeply afraid, that in the end she could bring pain to Cavinaar again. Her chest then felt empty, the pain growing numb. Was it her feelings for Cavinaar that were doing this?

What am I going to do? Faewyn thought, nearly panicking, as she took a few moments to breathe. She then looked back out towards the sea, feeling the waves beat heavily against her legs as she put all her feelings for Dalindo within the key and then, with a swift motion, threw it out into the ocean and into Ylessa’s hands. As Faewyn began to turn back towards the shore, she still felt an aching in her chest. Could she go on? To start anew with Cavinaar?

Was this fair? Was this really right?

Her doubts made her feel terrible. She wanted the feelings to end and quickly.

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